February 8, 2013
Divorce is so tragic and I believe is the ultimate relationship wound and loss. When marriage problems end in separation and then divorce, the loss is experienced deeply by the couple, and also by the entire family. It’s insidious tentacles even reach out and impact the friends and often the coworkers of that family. Divorce can leave the family in suspended animation as battles often rage for many years and wounds fester and are re-opened at later shared events usually involving the children.
Recovering from divorce involves working through a combined forgiving and grieving process. A grieving much like when a spouse has died, but even more complicated. It also involves making decisions. You might not have had a choice in getting a divorce, but you do have choices in your response. Will you hold on to bitterness and anger … or will you forgive? Will you give up and give into despair … or will you trust Jesus to help you rebuild your life on Him and not on your marriage or your spouse? Will you walk in fear … or will you be courageous to face the future God has for you? Do you trust yourself, your marriage, your ex-, your lawyer, the judge, your new romantic interest, or God?
Satan and your flesh, filled with insecurities and hurt, will try to influence your me-centered focus to give up, to feel like a failure, to feel no hope is possible, that your judgment is poor, and that you’ve lost everything. You have to resist these lies and distortions. Remember, Satan is the Great Deceiver. This is the only character trait he brings to address and confront the truth.
Divorce can bring one of the most intense pains possible into a person’s life. But you don’t have to go through it alone. Jesus loves you and wants to help you. If you will commit your ways to Him, the Holy Spirit will guide you in making all those hard decisions … He will give you the courage and peace you need to be clear-minded … and He will restore your hope. With God, all things are possible.
Today, if you are thinking about divorce, STOP! Get some wise counsel, as this is not God’s plan, (although it’s sometimes acceptable). Therefore, it will be a nightmare for you and result in a lot of loss for many others. If you are divorced, dive into the Bible and get to a church-based Divorce Recovery group so you can process and heal using Biblical truths and lenses. If you are a child of divorced parents, really examine the lies that divorce embeds in your mind about you, your parents, and relationships. If you know people in these situations, be there to help them genuinely heal and see God and life more clearly, because Satan knows how to use divorce to suck the soul out of people and make them his puppets. If you are married, commit to growing your marriage and expressing your love to your spouse. Relational health is your decision, so choose well.
Dear Father God, forgive me for the poor decisions I have made in the past. I know divorce saddens You. My hurt and loss seem unbearable at times. Please help me access the strength, power, peace, and comfort You provide to overcome. I know that through You, I will not just overcome, but even thrive as a result of learning through these experiences to put all my eggs in Your basket alone. Right now I have to make so many decisions. I need your help. Help me to choose the right path … the one that is right for my family and for me, and most of all the path that pleases You. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who shows us what step to take next, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say – AMEN!
Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him. Psalm 25:12
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. Matthew 19:6
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24