Stepping Stones: When The Laughter Ends…

Stepping Stones: When The Laughter Ends…
March 6, 2010 Lighthouse Network

Transformational Tip

Most of us have some degree of trouble admitting our true feelings and being able to express them…especially if we are struggling with life-controlling problems. But throughout the Bible, God encourages us to know our feelings and not keep them hidden inside. Jesus set an example for us: He had emotions and he expressed them. He cried. He got angry. He was sad. He was concerned and sweat blood in the garden.

We often hide the way we feel behind a defense to keep our real self from showing through. Inside we may feel fearful or angry or sad, but we hide those feelings by joking…or acting superior…or being silent…deflecting attention to something else…anesthetizing it with substances or food…or employing some other defense. We may try to cover our sadness with laughter, but when the laughter ends, the grief remains. Hidden shame and sadness are roadblocks to hope and healing.

Hiding our feelings gives them control over our lives. Unexpressed anger, fear, or guilt will have a destructive influence on everything we do. We only have a small box inside to keep these feelings in…it overflows quickly. When it overflows, those feelings will come out into our real everyday functioning…that is a fact.

Your choice is very simple: Express your feelings as they happen in ways that are controllable, functional, measured, and useful to you while they match the situation…or instead, while you are trying to hold them in your feelings start to overflow that little container inside and ooze out in ways that are uncontrollable, dysfunctional, random, and sabotage your efforts to move forward.

Today, ask yourself the question; has your “cover-up” helped? Or have you learned first-hand that when the laughter ends, the grief remains? Your suppressed feelings are coming back to undermine your happiness and relationships. Admitting your feelings can be a turning point. Be honest with yourself…And with God…And then with a friend. Being real will open the door for healing. Click here to share with the Stepping Stones community your perspective “when the laughter ends”.

Dear Father God, I’ve been hiding my feelings for a long time, but I know now it’s time to be honest. Help me to be real. Help me to have better awareness of my feelings and more control in expressing them. Soothe me and increase my awareness of Your soothing. Help me to share my real feelings with my loved ones. Set me free from their grip. I pray in the name of the One who You sent to be my perfect emotional role model, Jesus Christ. And all God’s children said AMEN!

The Truth
Laughter can conceal a heavy heart, but when laughter ends, the grief remains. “
Proverbs 14:13
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
and give no opportunity to the devil.
Ephesians 4:26,27

Comments (5)

  1. Anonymous 14 years ago

    I don't know if this is unique to me or if others have experienced it, but the suppressed feelings of anger as I have gone through my unwanted divorce(for the past three years and still ongoing)have manifested in the form of boils on different parts of my body. On the outside everyone says that I must be working towards sainthood as I am coping so well with an extremely difficult situation, but obviously on the inside it is a different story. I truly am not aware of the continued boiling within. I don't have continuous thoughts of anger or hatred, yet if the stress spikes for some reason, I get another round of painful boils. It is about a ten day cycle from the time they start til the time they erupt(sorry for the graphic). I just seem unable to control them and I dont want to keep going on round after round of antibiotics to get rid of them. Any experiences or suggestions?

  2. Anonymous 14 years ago

    MIchael, The reality of my unwanted divorce was this…the divorce had occurred long before the reality on paper.. you cannot force someone to love…. more importantly, as the reality of my former spouses recurrent infidelity was revealed, I beseached the Lord one day as I was driving ( I remember the exact moment in time….) crying out to the Lord "Lord, how could this be happening, I thought these issues had been dealt with years ago" a voice that sounded as audible as any I've ever heard, came to my soul… "It's not between you and him, it's between me and him…" This brought peace in my heart and lifted all anger (Phil 4:7). It was not my battle…. it was the Lord's…. this realization freed me from anger, resentments and allowed me to even begin praying for my former spouse. It didn't remove my disappointment, and there were, and sometimes still, are tears in the years since … at moments I still grieve the loss of this relationship, the loss of my family life when I confront glimpses into lost potential ~ of how it could have been… the reality is … we live in a fallen world…. yet the Lord is faithful… AND He will not let you go…

  3. Anonymous 14 years ago

    My experience of grieving my divorce and all of the aspects of its impacts on family life and daily living has oddly enough brought me some assistance in yet another passage… now as I make my best attempts to cope and persevere in the midst of the nuances and ongoing realities of my only son's "dual diagnosis" … The Lord has shown me His faithfulness… His presence in the midst of pain… The Lord is bringing me to my core. Grief seems a never ending process of of life. We grieve. What I am learning presently is to live in the moment, appreciate every opportunity to see beauty and delight in the simplest pleasure … a sunset, puffy white clouds or a smile of a stranger, the giggles of a child. Bless others with encouraging words, gratitude for the simplest of kindnesses and the gift of "being real" [transparent] with others. There is a balance… we cannot allow our grief and sadness to overwhelm us… we need to seek counsel (the Lord's, of course first and foremost) yet also of "Jesus with skin on…" ~ the fellowship of believer's. A guiding principle that is now guiding my days, as I learn a new lesson in perseverance, is one I've taken from reading Oswald Chambers' "Utmost" over the years. It is to just "do the next thing".

  4. Anonymous 14 years ago

    I was just diagnosed as bipolar after 50 years of always feeling off, but not knowing why. How do I reconcile being broken with my belief that I am made in God's image and I am perfect the way I am? Do I take the medicine or is this how God made me and I will find relief when I get to heaven?

  5. Anonymous 14 years ago

    Will the med's help you see clearly? Will it help you stay in your "right mind"… give you the ability to function in a way that benefits you and those you love? We each have our burdens… some are malfunctions of our body chemistry, others are the result of sinfulness whether our own willfullness or someone else's… yet, in the midst of our personal "drama's", is where we can most clearly see the Lord's grace, mercy and faithfulness revealed… when we trust Him (in spite of ourselves)…. when we run out of our own "power" is the time we can see His….and this is when we can have hope when things seem hopeless from our own limited perspective…. we see the Creator of the Universe acting on our behalf… (could that be why you discovered His provision of a diagnosis, medication and therapies?). Sometimes it's not a question of either or – rather both. Get help where is available, yet don't allow it to become your "identity".. We can also choose this day to accept the identity we have in Christ… not the identity of the "flesh" from which He has redeemed us… we can do all things through Him who strengthens… even preserve in the midst of a physical infirmity…. Seek His guidance, trust Him and He graciously will show you…. The concept of stepping into our true identity is a concept discovered from reading "The Sacred Romance" by John Eldridge…. it could be He will show you how to help someone else how to live life that overcomes in the midst of trails…

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