I love to please my daughters. Who doesn’t want to see their kids happy, especially if we can be the one bringing them delight. But we also want to see them safe and healthy, so when they make unhealthy or dysfunctional requests, it is easy to say “NO!”…even though they aren’t pleased or are actually upset by our answer.
Don’t believe me? What about when they ask for…their third bowl of ice cream…the keys to the car and they are only 13…to stay out to midnight when they are 14 on a school night…or camp out with boyfriend, alone, when they are 16. All these will easily get a “No” answer from me regardless of how displeased my beloved daughters are to me.
When fellow adults make dysfunctional requests, for some reason, for most of us, it is harder to say “No”. Whether I think they know more than I do about the particular situation…they know what’s best for themselves…I fear and hate being uneasy when people are mad or upset at me …I fear being rejected by them…I need their approval…I need acceptance. Many “I need…” or “I fear…” lenses, based on me centered mentality, significantly interfere with our perspective and lead to dysfunctional, sinful, relational conduct.
When we focus on trying to please people by acting dysfunctionally, we are not serving God. If we are truly His servants, our primary goal will be to please Him.
When Jesus lived on earth, many who believed in Him would not admit their faith. Because these people were more concerned about people’s opinions than God’s, they did not live out their faith. Likewise, when we live as people pleasers, we are demonstrating the fact that we are more concerned about their approval than God’s…and our walk with him is hindered.
Today, ask yourself; What is my greatest perceived need or greatest perceived threat when someone makes a request of me…or I feel the need to act in a relationship. Who am I trying to please?…God or the person. Maybe most of your life is lived to please God, but there is still some situation…or some person…that sparks you to be a people-pleaser. God wants us to put Him first in all things…we cannot please Him by placing more importance on people’s opinions …and our needs… over His.
Click here to share your perspective about trying to please others.
Dear Father God, , I do want to please you. Forgive me for the times I let my desire to be accepted by a person outweigh my desire to please you. Thank you for your love and for accepting me unconditionally. Help me to be a better servant. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who was the perfect servant, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say – AMEN!
I am not trying to please people. I want to please God. Do you think I am trying to please people? If I were doing that, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Many people did believe in him, however, including some of the Jewish leaders. But they wouldn’t admit it for fear that the Pharisees would expel them from the synagogue. For they loved human praise more than the praise of God.