Yesterday, we discussed our curiosity and need to make deals over both material and psychological issues, and even spiritual issues. Some people spend their whole lives trying to make deals with themselves, with their loved one who has an issue, or with God. Life is a roller coaster of highs when the deal seems to pay off and lows when the expected payoff doesn’t occur. Some who are concerned about a loved one’s life-interfering problem are blessed enough to pass through the deal-making stage and reach the next phase, the stage of acceptance.
Acceptance is a welcome place of relief. Now we can finally turn our loved one over to God … to His love and discipline … to His mercy and grace … to His healing power. Turning our struggling loved one over to God does not mean that we no longer care what happens to him, but that we have accepted the reality of the situation and the fact that we can’t fix the problem on our own.
This is so hard for us to do, to relinquish control, to take less ownership of a situation that significantly affects us. Having less angst in something painful feels, at times, as though we love the other person less. We really have to strike a balance on the spectrums of control, power, care and love, as too much or too little of these is unhealthy. Unfortunately, our flesh and past often interfere with clear Godly thinking in these areas.
Then we need to make the ultimate deal. This is where we emotionally detach ourselves from our loved ones, even as we continue to love them and trust God’s guidance in redesigning our roles in their lives. The ultimate deal we make is with God. We surrender our need for the other person to change, or to be the change agent ourselves. So what do we get in return? God can conform us to the likeness of Christ.
Today, acknowledge that your loved ones themselves are responsible for their own behavior … accept your powerlessness to change them. Admit that you need nothing from anybody to experience peace, contentment and growth. Tying your happiness to someone else’s behavior is a cop-out, an excuse, conforming to the flesh’s view and strategy of what you need. Let go and let God, and be a good steward of the “The Ultimate Deal.” WITHIN REACH can help you take the concrete steps to gain this freedom in God.
Almighty and Loving God, help me come to this point of acceptance. I know I can’t fix my loved one’s problems. I know he has to take responsibility for his own choices. Help me to let go. Help me to rest in You, knowing that You love him even more than I do, and that You alone are able to help him. Help me be dependent on You, not someone else’s actions for my joy and happiness. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who is my rock and my salvation, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say – AMEN!
Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.