Stepping Stones: Are You Giving Others Power Over You?

Stepping Stones: Are You Giving Others Power Over You?
August 20, 2011 Lighthouse Network

Transformational Thought

We have been discussing forgiveness for several days: why we avoid it, what it is, what it isn’t, and why it is important. Today, I will tell you about the aspect of forgiveness that pushed me to really forgive even though it seemed hard to. You see, I played a lot of sports and was a very competitive person … my kids would say I still am. When I got wronged, my competitive nature (as well as some other baggage) would kick in. I wasn’t going to let anybody beat me! I needed my rival to realize that I was in control of them … that I wasn’t beaten … that they would hurt more than me.

To satisfy my competitive nature, I needed something from them. For them to admit they were wrong, or take responsibility for their action, maybe feel some significant pain or suffer a consequence as penance for their transgression against me, or for them to make the hurt all better. Do you realize the problem this mindset made for me? My happiness, relief, or comfort depended on the other person doing “something.”

Therefore, I was giving my “rivals” power over me, because they could withhold the “something” that I needed as long as they wanted. My need for “something” from them made me dependent on them … what they wanted and would do. I had trouble seeing the relationship with them clearly and moving forward because I still needed “something” from them so I could be content.

Bitterness, inferiority, fear, rage, nervousness, injustice, revenge, insecurity, anxiety and many other uneasy feelings would course through me when I saw or thought of my rivals or transgressors. Many of my behaviors inflicted pain on them, pushed them to see how they wronged me, or exerted some superiority over them so I could extract my payment from them, directly or indirectly. Finally, I realized how much power and influence over me I was granting them. I figured out I didn’t want to give them that power, but also, that I don’t handle that power that well. So, I decided to give the power over to God. He has the power, deserves the power, and will always see that justice is administered. I just need to let God do His job. Then I can follow God’s instructions to me and do my job, managing myself, not others.

Today, try to identify people who have power over you, or who negatively dominate your thought world. Chances are you haven’t really forgiven some of them and still need “something” from them so you can move forward. Think why you need that “something”. That is your issue. Quit pointing the finger at others. God has given you way more than you could ever need or want. So what can someone else possibly give that you can’t move on without? WITHIN REACH will help you access the Holy Spirit so you can forgive others. Your choice whether you will give them power over you or not, so choose well.


Dear Father, thanks for helping me learn how to forgive. Help me desire, think, and act in such a way that You are the one I want to have power over me. Help me to really see the forgiveness You extend to me and not worry about what others will or will not do. Help me see the evil one as the real enemy, and not think my transgressor is the enemy. I pray in the name of Jesus and His forgiving blood; and all God’s children say – AMEN!

The Truth

Where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer any offering for sin.

Hebrews 10:18

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

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