Forgiveness, in some ways is so simple, and in other respects, so complicated. That’s true whether we are trying to forgive ourselves or forgive a person who has hurt us. As you probably have realized, we often address forgiveness in our devotionals, and that’s for one important reason: IT IS SO HARD TO DO! Like most psychological activities, forgiveness is a skill; nobody is born good at it. Learn it the right way, then practice, practice, practice, and you will get much better at it.
Forgiveness is one of the most important choices to act on after receiving eternal life through Christ’s death on the Cross. Why? Extending forgiveness to those who have wronged us acknowledges our understanding of God and His forgiveness of us. To have a relationship with God and live in Heaven with Him we need God’s forgiveness for our sins. We then need to live in that forgiveness and forgive ourselves. That’s easier said than done, for if you really analyze your view of yourself and some of your motivations, you will see that forgiving yourself isn’t as easy as you think.
Jesus came to die for us so we can live in an intimate and incredible relationship with God … an Abundant Life … liberated from sin and Satan. God created us to do good works and to be shining lights. We can’t become all God designed us to be if we harbor resentment and bitterness towards others or ourselves. It is vital that we make the choice, yes, a decision, to forgive and, if possible, to reconcile with the person who has hurt us.
The first step towards reconciliation begins with your thoughts. One of several areas to think about is the other person’s spiritual and psychological needs rather than their faults. How can you serve that person and God by forgiving him or her? Then begin to think well of that person and speak well of him or her to someone close to you, drawing attention to strengths and needs, rather than offenses. Then realize you aren’t perfect and many people have extended you grace over your years. Next take action … begin to let go of the negativity of the hurt and look at the lessons you can learn and growth it can cause.
You might be in a difficult situation in which the other party is not willing to reconcile. If this is the case, make sure you have forgiven in your own heart. Then keep yourself ready to pursue further reconciliation, if and when the other person is ready.
Today, ask God to open your eyes, using spiritual lenses to see the other person’s needs and issues. Wait on God’s timing for the individual to join in total reconciliation. It may not be safe to be physically reconciled with some people. Don’t try to force it … let God work it out in His way and time. You are responsible for your heart and your part, not the other person’s. Above all, remember that Jesus loves you, and He will give you the strength and courage you need … abundantly. Forgiveness is your decision, so choose well.
Dear Father God, in all my relationships, help me dwell on things worthy of praise, not things to curse. And especially help me to do this when I think or speak about the one who has offended me. May I walk in forgiveness and be open to reconciliation in Your way and in Your time. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One died for my forgiveness so I can extend it to others; and all God’s children say – AMEN!
Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious … the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Philippians 4:8
For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. Romans 3:23-24
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of a sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. Galatians 5:16-17