REFOCUS
Breathe deeply while you say, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…”
READ
Psalm 1
Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,
2 But whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night.
3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.
4 Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away.
5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
6 For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.
Ephesians 6:13
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
REFLECT
Stand
I left the church the last day of December. I had been a youth minister with almost a hundred youth in the program. When my wife told me that she wanted a divorce I had quickly sunk into a deep depression, complete with a mix of intense sadness, questioning, hopelessness and anger at everyone – God included.
I complained bitterly that although I was trying to serve Him, He had allowed my marriage to fail and although I desperately wanted my wife to return, He was not making it happen. I had been striving and slaving in ministry for Him and I was praying with all my might, where was He when I needed Him?
Yet, even in anger I clung on to the hope that He would somehow pull me through. That was the reason that I continued to attend church, sought to read my Bible and to pray. “After all,” I reasoned, “how could I expect Him to help me if I didn’t ‘do my part’?” Still, I worried because I was stuck in a dilemma – How could I begin to “do my part” when I was so filled with sadness, anger, confusion and hopelessness? I regularly found myself saying, doing and thinking things that showed that my control was limited. As a result my despair grew even stronger.
The week before my schedule exit from the church I had planned a ski trip in West Virginia. Since I was in no emotional shape to supervise, I assigned adult lay leaders to small groups of youth. I would hide out, while they made sure that the youth were safe.
I positioned myself on the porch of the ski lodge, overlooking the “bunny slope.” Those familiar with skiing will recognize this place as the area beginner skiers learn. Learning to ski can be challenging. One must first learn to stand without falling. Since it’s not an easy task to stay vertical on slippery snow and ice, the next step is learning to get up after falling.
Then, once upright, there is learning to stop. The result of several dozen people in these learning stages resembles a slap stick comedy. There are bodies everywhere – some prostrate on the snow, some running into one another or into the fences, others with arms wildly flapping trying not to fall. It’s an amusing sight.
For me, however, it would be more than just amusing. I returned from the ski trip and left the job at the church. Once home and all alone, I laid in bed for several days, deep in depression. Again, the dilemma hit me; there were so many things to do and I hardly had the strength to even get out of bed. Then, looking for some form of inspiration, I turned to the Bible by the bed. I opened it at random and a fragment of a single sentence caught my eye: Ephesians 6:13 “…and having done all, stand.”
In quick succession two things happened. First, the image of the “bunny slop” came to mind. I saw those beginning skiers struggling to find their footing. I saw them falling and attempting to get up again. And as it did a voice arose in my head. The voice said, “Sometimes, it’s enough just to stand. That is an accomplishment.”
I’m sure that there are those who could quibble with my interpretation of the passage but to me those words were powerful words of reassurance. In that moment I realized I did not have to create the future. I did not have to be “strong enough” or “holy enough” for God to show up. It was not all up to me. He would be pleased if I only learned the next lesson – as elementary as it might be. He was not expecting great leaps of faith. He was simply asking me to do the next, small thing.
I did. I got up. I put my clothes on. I called a friend. It was the beginning of my recovery. That day I began to stand. Though they seemed like small accomplishments they were actually huge. In time I would look back and realize that I not only pulled myself up and began to stand, I also took a step forward. I was learning to trust God not only for my salvation but to meet me when I was too weak, too broken and exhausted to do much of anything.
I learned that my spiritual growth was something that He was guiding and empowering. I learned that He was big enough to carry me.
RESPOND
Questions to Consider
- What is something that I feel God would want to see me victorious in?
- What is one small thing that I can do to move myself toward that victory?
- What do I need from Him as I take this step (or simply stand)?
Prayer
There is an old gospel hymn that expresses the idea of standing. Read it here or listen to it online as your prayer of commitment.
Standing on the Promises
Standing on the promises of Christ my King
Through eternal ages let his praises ring
Glory in the highest, I will shout and sing
Standing on the promises of God.
Chorus:
Standing, standing
Standing on the promises of God my Savior
Standing, standing
I’m standing on the promises of God.
Standing on the promises I cannot fall
Listening every moment to the Spirit’s call
Resting in my Savior as my all in all
Standing on the promises of God.
Blessings,
Rev. James R. Needham, PhD, MDiv