REFOCUS
Sit back, breath deeply and allow your mind to focus on the presence of God as you pray, “You are light and In You there is no darkness at all.” (based on Jn 1:5)
READ
Ps 139: 1-14
O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it…
13 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
James 1:22-24
22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.
23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror.
24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.
REFLECT
Mirrors
In the Epistle of James we read about mirrors. It is a subject that we can easily understand. Studies suggest that most of us look in the mirror ten plus times each day. James, however, isn’t just peddling a concept. He wants to impact not only our head but our heart.
For me, two images help the passage move from head to heart. Both take me back to my childhood.
The first is the county fair. Each November the carnival rides and sideshows would roll into town. Among the exhibits was one called the “Fun House.” For a dollar, one could walk through a house that held all manner of surprises and obstacles designed to challenge and amuse the participant. Along the way one might negotiate a maze, walk through blasts of air, crawl through tunnels that turned, and walk on floors that gave way.
At the end of the tour was the finale – a line of mirrors, each with its own unique distortions. Some mirrors made you look tall and skinny. Some made you appear short and dumpy. One enlarged your head till it was gigantic but shrunk your torso so that you looked like a lollipop.
The second image is from a children’s story. A single quote will bring it to mind. “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all.” So said the queen in the story of Snow White. The mirror, as you likely remember, would answer, “Thou, O Queen, art the fairest in the land.” It was only then that the queen could relax – her self-esteem bolstered by the mirror who defined her as beautiful.
All was well as long as the mirror offered his reassurance. But one day, it didn’t. On that fateful morning, the mirror’s reply was “Snow White, O Queen, is the fairest of them all.” From there everything went south. Snow White became the object of the Queen’s hatred and she sought to do away with her.
These are experiences from childhood yet they speak to universal questions for people of all ages: How do we see ourselves? Who or what do we choose to establish our identity and thereby our worth?
The truth is that there are many mirrors from which to choose. Each of our worlds is full of sources that are eager to define us.
The mirrors begin to arrive at a young age. Members of our family hold them. Words like “smart,” “failure,” “beautiful,” and “accident,” are only some of the reflections placed before us. For some, the view given them by parents and family helps bolster their self-confidence. However, for others, the accumulated criticism collected over the years leads to significant damage in their view of themselves.
All of them, however, contain the disadvantage of being crafted by those with their desires and dreams for us. There may well come a time, when like the Queen’s mirror, we fail to live up to their standards.
Soon friends join the funhouse. Their mirrors sort us into groups of the accepted and honored, and the rejected or shamed. In either case, they distort a single feature to the neglect of others. At the extreme a choice of clothing or hairstyle, a preference for one form of music or another, or the “wrong” choice of friends can result in a tremendous difference in the way we see ourselves.
We soon become aware of cultural mirrors, as well. They reflect standards of success based on wealth, beauty, education, and status – along with our ability to produce these. Many of these mirrors are purposefully erected by those seeking to profit. To correct the reflection they’ve shown us, they sell a host of products designed to bolster our image.
Like others in the funhouse their distortions can be cruel. Just how cruel was shown in a recent study that found that only 11% of girls felt comfortable calling themselves beautiful. By the time these girls reached adulthood the number had dropped to a staggering 4%.
The impact of these reflections is profound. Trusting the image they provide means that we give them the power to define us and thereby bolster or undermine our self-esteem. Psychological studies tell us that self-image, in turn, impacts our quality of life in powerful ways. Their findings show the damage that occurs from distorted self-images.
Outcomes such as a lack of empathy for others, a persistent fear of rejection, unstable relationships, erratic moods, anxiety, impulsivity, prejudice, and unstable career plans and goals are some of the results observed when a negative self image has been received. One study even demonstrated a link between low self-esteem and a less fulfilling sex life!
Clearly, it isn’t the multitude of reflections that matter; it is the accuracy of the image that is so important. Without an accurate reflection we are left only with a house of mirrors.
This is the place that God’s word can speak to us. Into the multitude of mirrors, our Creator, the one who knows us best, offers His reflection of who we are. As we gaze into His word we find that our image reflects the very one who made us. That is why Psalm 139 describes us with such lofty language. In reading the Psalm, one is struck by the value God places on each of us as precious and beautiful. Perhaps the most poignant place we see this is in verse 14, where the Psalmist describes us as “fearfully and wonderfully made.”
“Fearfully” is a translation of the Hebrew word “yare” which denotes something crafted with great respect, honor and care. The word “wonderfully” is “pala” which means that each of us have been created in a distinct and unique way — set aside from all others. It is a view that St. Paul echoes when he writes to the Ephesians, “We are God’s masterpiece.” And it is the image that Jesus reflects when he tells his disciples of their worth saying, “the very hairs on your head are all numbered” (Lk 12:7).
Such a view may be hard for us to receive. The reflection of family and cultural mirrors are hard to resist. However, the question for each of us remains: to whom will we give the power to define us. Will it be the distorted, fickle and failing mirrors of family, friends and culture? Or will we base our self-worth on the reflection of God’s Word?
RESPOND
Questions to Consider
- What are some forces and who are the people who have had power in forming the way you view yourself?
- What would be one distorted mirror that you would like to break?
Prayer
Almighty God my heavenly Father,
You formed me in Your image.
You called me to be Your child.
You gave Your own Son for my life.
You never leave me or forsake me.
You have arranged to be with me for all eternity.
Pry my eyes away from the distortions of my past and culture so that I might see Your reflection in me
– in my body, in my mind, in the whole of my being.
For Jesus’ sake I pray.
Amen.
Blessings,
Rev. James R. Needham, PhD, MDiv