Love is Spelled L-I-S-T-E-N
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice (Proverbs 12:15).
In a recent article, a Christian therapist wrote about how Fred Rogers, aka Mr. Rogers, had recently impacted her life. “My kids watched Mr. Rogers so I could cook dinner after work. Fred Rogers was an ordained Presbyterian minister whose calling was to create a “holy space” for the TV studio and the children watching on the other side.
Mr. Rogers’ show was one of acceptance and inclusion. His belief was that everyone has inherent value. He believed the most important thing about communication is listening … and often silence. He listened with compassion to the child whose stuffed dog lost its ear in the wash. He listened to the young boy with a spinal halo and confined to a wheelchair. He listened to the child who was angry when the kids at school were mean to him because he was different.
Fred Rogers dealt with difficult topics and modeled acceptance and inclusion when the world did not. The simple gesture of taking off his shoes to cool off his feet along with one of the African-American cast members was his way of addressing the conflict about white people excluding black people from public swimming pools. He talked honestly about things like death and war in a way that still made children feel safe and loved.
Fred Rogers sang, ‘It’s you I like, every part of you.’ What is essential to life is invisible to the eye. This is the invisible gift of love.”
The article reminded me that in our effort to help others we often forget one of the most powerful tools God has given us: the power of listening with acceptance. At times we may be so anxious to correct a wrong, explain a position, or get something accomplished that we neglect this form of love. The risk is not only that we will alienate the one we spare trying to influence, but that we communicate that positions, beliefs, and tasks are more important than the person themself.
Isn’t it interesting that the Book of Proverbs, which is largely written by one of the wisest men in the world, has so much to say about listening? Perhaps that is because listening is so closely tied to loving God, followed by loving others as ourselves. These are the great commandments. Love is spelled L-I-S-T-E-N.
—Rev. James R. Needham
PhD, MDiv
How often we find ourselves quick to speak but slow to listen. At what times and to what people are you most tempted to think, assume, and presume before listening to another’s point of view? Why is this? Can you identify the source of your temptation to bypass listening? One of the beautiful things we see in Jesus in the Gospels is his unique ability to make everyone feel seen and heard, from welcoming children to touching a someone afflicted with leprosy, he validated everyone. Listening is really part and parcel to loving others. Let us pray for the grace to listen first, and well, from the heart, before we open our mouths. –DH
—David Hoskins, Founder & Care Guide, Sanctuary Clinics