Listening to Our Emotions
It’s foolish to assume that we can directly alter our emotions simply by willing them to change. If you’re angry, it’s absurd for me to say to you, “Don’t be angry,” and then expect that you can simply switch to feeling kind or happy.
It is also a mistake simply to work at overcoming a troublesome emotion through behavioral techniques. This is not to say that it’s wrong to pray for release from rage or envy.
It’s inadequate, however, to assume that we can change our emotions by applying a few methods to gain handles on our troublesome inner world.
Struggling with emotions is not a matter of solving problems with a little more information and practical knowhow. We are not machines that can be repaired through a series of steps-we are relational beings who are transformed by the mystery of relationship.
We are radically disposed to idolatry, illusion-making, and attempts to secure our lives without bowing before God. Our core problem is not a lack of information-it is flight and rebellion.
Therefore, if we view difficult emotions as problems to be solved, we will end up looking for answers that will work rather than pursuing a relationship with God, regardless of immediate outcome.
A determination to resolve our emotional struggles inevitably subordinates God as a servant of our healing rather than a Person to be praised. Rather than focusing on trying to change ourselves, we are wiser first to listen to them.
They are a voice that can tell us how we are dealing with a fallen world, hurtful people, and a quizzical God who seldom seems to be or do what we expect of Him. Although emotions are generally aroused in a human context, they always reveal something about how we are dealing with God.
—Dan B Allender and Tremper Longman,
The Cry of the Soul
In the journey of healing—especially in mental health and addiction recovery—it’s tempting to treat our emotions like problems to fix. But as Allender and Longman remind us, we are not machines in need of adjustment—we are relational beings, shaped and transformed through relationship, especially with God. Difficult emotions like anger, envy, or sorrow are not just psychological hurdles; they are spiritual messengers. They reveal how we are engaging a broken world—and more deeply, how we are relating to a God who doesn’t always act the way we expect. Instead of trying to silence or “solve” our emotions, we are invited to listen to them, and in doing so, bring them honestly before God. Healing doesn’t begin with control—it begins with surrender. Not with methods, but with relationship. —DH
—David Hoskins, Founder & Care Guide, Sanctuary Clinics