Becoming the Father
The father in the story of the prodigal son suffered much. He saw his younger son leave, knowing disappointment, rejection, and abuses faced him. He saw his older son become angry and bitter and was unable to offer him affection and support. A large part of the father’s life had been spent waiting. He could not force his younger son to come home or his older son to let go of his resentments. Only they themselves could take the initiative to return.
During these long years of waiting the father cried many tears and died many deaths. He was emptied out by suffering. But that emptiness created a place of welcome for his sons when the time of their return came. We are called to become like that father.
—Henri Nouwen,
The Tears of the Father
For those carrying the wounds of mental illness or addiction—whether in themselves or someone they love—Henri Nouwen’s portrait of the prodigal’s father speaks with deep compassion. The father suffered not just once, but again and again—through waiting, grieving, and letting go of control. He couldn’t fix his sons, force their healing, or mend their choices. But his pain carved out a sacred space of welcome. In the same way, our own suffering—if we let it—can become a vessel for grace, a place that holds room for others, and even for ourselves, to return. Becoming like the father doesn’t mean having all the answers. It means learning to wait with open arms, to weep without losing hope, and to love with a heart emptied of pride and filled with mercy. God’s got this. God’s got you.
—David Hoskins, Founder & Care Guide, Sanctuary Clinics