Stepping over Our Wounds
Sometimes we have to “step over” our anger, our jealousy, or our feelings of rejection and move on. The temptation is to get stuck in our negative emotions, poking around in them as if we belong there. Then we become the “offended one,” “the forgotten one,” or the “discarded one.”
Yes, we can get attached to these negative identities and even take morbid pleasure in them. It might be good to have a look at these dark feelings and explore where they come from, but there comes a moment to step over them, leave them behind and travel on.
—Henri J M Nouwen, Bread for the Journey
There’s a moment in every healing journey when we must decide: Will I stay stuck in this pain, or will I move forward? Henri Nouwen names the temptation to linger in our anger, rejection, or resentment—to poke around in those feelings so long that they start to define us. We become “the hurt one,” “the overlooked one,” or “the rejected one.” And while it’s important to acknowledge those wounds, it’s just as vital to know when it’s time to step over them.
In recovery, this is a sacred turning point. You don’t ignore the pain—but you also don’t let it name you anymore. You are not your worst moment. You are not your deepest wound. With God’s help, you can leave behind the labels that no longer serve your healing. You can choose to walk forward—not as the discarded one, but as the beloved one. The journey continues, and you don’t have to carry those old names with you. —DH
—David Hoskins, Founder & Care Guide, Sanctuary Clinics