Being Empowered to Face Our True Self
There is a way of turning to God that is a form of escapism. This occurs when we anxiously pray for divine help and intervention but fail to face the circumstances that cause our own anxiety. It occurs when we pray to be given a way of escape but fail to evaluate our own part in our difficulties. It occurs when we look upward but fail to look inward. Conversely, there is also a way of looking inward that is less than helpful. This takes place when we turn to find inner peace and inner reserves of nourishment, but instead find confusion and impoverishment. This experience of looking inward drives us to frustration and guilt, for we feel that we have failed. The basic momentum of the spiritual life is not simply to look inward, nor is it just a matter of looking upward. The momentum is quite different. It is looking upward so that we dare to look inward, and it is looking inward so that we can prayerfully look upward. It is being empowered from above so that we can be honest and realistic with ourselves, and it draws us with our confession and repentance back to God again to receive forgiveness and renewal. The outcome of this rhythm of the inner life is that we become intimately joined with the One who loves us. We can then join Nouwen in this prayer: I gradually realize that I want to be seen by you, to dwell under your caring gaze and to grow strong and gentle in your sight.
—Charles Ringma, Dare to Journey with Henri Nouwen
Turning to God doesn’t mean avoiding the hard truths about ourselves. If we only pray for rescue without facing our own part in the problem, we miss the deeper work God wants to do. And if we only look inward without God’s help, we may find confusion instead of peace. True spiritual growth is a rhythm—looking upward to receive God’s strength, then looking inward with honesty and courage, and returning upward again for forgiveness and renewal.
This back-and-forth keeps us grounded in truth and anchored in grace. It’s in God’s presence that we can face ourselves without fear, knowing His love is steady and His mercy is sure. As Henri Nouwen prayed, we too can desire to “dwell under [God’s] caring gaze” and grow strong and gentle in His sight—wholeheartedly known and completely loved. —DH
—David Hoskins, Founder & Care Guide, Sanctuary Clinics